Happiness cannot be attained from the external world. It comes from the world within you. But we often tend to get distracted from this fact.
There was a girl in our Diploma college who used to be happy every single day. I would always wonder how can someone be happy always! At times I wished to ask her – How to be happy?
Now, after around 9 years, I know the secret behind her happiness. She had mastered the habit of being happy. Yes. Joy like other emotions – hatred, anger, love, etc. – is a habit. If you master the habit of happiness, you’ve won half the battle – of life, already.
Mastering the art of happiness is going to be difficult because we adapt to the negative surrounding faster than the positive one.
Lately, I’ve been practicing this beautiful art of being happy and that too in this age of technology. Believe me or follow this ultimate guide of how to be happy, and you’ll see it for yourself.
(The reason I picked up this topic for this week’s blog is mentioned ahead in the blog)
1. Stop changing others
We all are surrounded by hundreds of different types of people. Do you find it difficult to adjust to your new co-worker? This is due to the differences in your thoughts.
The thing which you find correct might not be right for the other person and vice versa. For instance, I hate the people who watch ‘Big Boss’ from the bottom of my heart. I’ve troubled myself enough by getting irritated and at times frustrated when I’d see people on the train, in my neighborhood watching that meaningless TV show. Unfortunately, it was I who wasted my time and energy in correcting them.
If you want to have your peace of mind, remain silent and work. Stop changing others. Instead, work on yourself because happiness lies on self-improvement.
Related Article: 5 Things You Should Stop Expecting From Others
2. Be grateful
That smile you had on your face this morning while you stretch your body in your warm, soft bed, for many, it is a luxury. The food that you had in your lunch box, cooked by your mother, is a blessing you receive every day.
You might have lost your money, your dreams, or someone very close to you in the past. Everyone goes through the same experiences. You are not alone. Complaining about this makes you feel more unfortunate.
Count onto your blessings. Be grateful to that packet of chips you could have now at your desk, for the friends you have around you who are just a phone call away and be thankful for this beautiful day because – ‘Today’ is His gift unto you.
Complaining about your misfortunes pulls you towards unhappiness.
3. Train your mind to see good in everything
The day to day incidents that happen in and around your life is not the reason for your unhappiness. It’s our reaction to it. But if you train your mind to look good in every situation, you’re thousands of steps far from woe.
For instance, on a rainy day, if the trains are late, look around you. Spend some time observing the people around you. Be happy that you’ve got some spare time out of your hectic life.
Sit down (if there’s any place) and ponder on the spare time you got by the mere reason of trains getting late instead of wasting your time grumbling and worrying about the delay.
If you fail in an examination, pull up your shoes and start preparing for the reattempt. You don’t know why did life thrust this bad experience upon you, but when you look back at your past, you find the dots are connecting.
Bad experiences are as significant as the good ones. Be assured that whatever happens is for good only.
4. Stop grumbling
Children today grumble for the non-branded clothes that they have. They’re somehow not satisfied by the things they have today and keep longing for the things that their friends have.
It is the same with us, adults, too. We get easily carried away by the luxurious life that our friends are living and urge to have the same. The Sabyasachi Lehanga, the lavish wedding, a pre-wedding shoot, etc.
But we forget that grumbling for what we don’t have leads to utter unhappiness. Every day we cry on seeing the pictures on social media and waste the precious hours of life.
Being ambitious is good, but its you to decide how much to stretch it.
5. Work for long term happiness.
Unhappy people work for short-term pleasure like shopping, consumption of alcohol and cigarette, eating fast food, and finding shortcuts in life.
Happy people do the opposite. They stick themselves to one goal for years and prepare a long lasting happy life. They do not play small and prepare themselves for bringing out the best results.
Dream big and enjoy every moment of the process. Happiness lies in the journey, not the destination.
6. Communicate kindly
Kindness is free of cost. But most of us have forgotten that in the busyness of life. We’re so busy with our problems, our life that we’ve become utterly negligible to others sufferings.
But the truth is when we’re kind to others, we feel good about ourselves. This makes us happy from within.
A few days ago, a girl asked me for directions to reach platform number 4. I was going towards the same platform, and so I asked her to come along with me. She had a big bag in her hand, so she walked really slow. Being habitual of running through the foot-over bridge, I was well ahead of her. But I kept looking behind for her and gestured to follow my path. When we reached the platform, she walked to me and thanked me with her pretty smile. Her smile was enough to wash away my day’s tiredness.
Such small acts of kindness bring us big moments of happiness.
7. Accept yourself
All my life, I’ve remained an average person, and I love that. Some people are smarter than me. Some have more followers than me. There is always someone better.
But that doesn’t mean I should start belittling myself.
One of the main reasons for unhappiness is when we start comparing ourselves to others and try to intimate them or be cool like them. There is no need to change your lifestyle only to impress others.
Be original. Don’t be ashamed of yourself. You’re different from others because you’re unique. Simple.
Accept yourself first, irrespective with all your flaws.
8. Adapt to minimalism
All these years, my father kept poking to shop for clothes as much as I needed. It’s the minimalistic approach that he followed all his life, and now after actually implementing it myself, I’ve learned a few things.
-Less is always more.
-Wasting 10 to 15 minutes in just thinking what to wear for office or college is simply a waste of time.
-We don’t need to have hundreds of goals, one goal is enough (for me, it is writing a blog every week).
-Shopping to fulfill our needs is wise and shopping for desire and luxury is a waste of money.
9. Don’t postpone your life.
This beautiful chapter of the page no. 24 from my favorite book – Unposted Letters, named, Life will not postpone our death, So let’s not postponed our life. Do I need to say anything? The title says it all. Click here to check out the book.
Also, do read my free ebook and laugh until you have teeth. Click here to download my ebook.
10. Find your purpose
Give your life a greater sense of meaning by giving it a purpose. Click here to read my purpose in life. At every step in this journey, I experience sheer happiness.
11. Take 30 seconds to breathe
There is no simpler way to make time for yourself and to be grateful for your own existence than to breathe. Close your eyes. Breathe in through your nose for a count of three and out through your mouth for a count of five. Do this 5 times.
12. Do nothing for 2 minutes
Guess what happens? Nothing! You didn’t lose your job. Your family didn’t leave you. You did not fail. Nobody judged you. In fact, the only thing that really happened was that you realized that you can make time for yourself and enjoy your own presence without anyone’s help.
13. Write a Thank You note to someone this week
If you can’t find anything else to thank someone for, then just write them a note to thank them for being in your life. Thank them for the time they’ve spent with you because they could have had other better things to do.
Every now and then I read those sweet messages that my office friends had written for me. A soft smile sparkles on my face.
14. Control your anger
Did you bang on your hand on the desk for the internet speed was slow and the process was eating up your lunchtime? Well, if in such a tight situation if you’re able to manage your anger and stress, well done to you.
Anger has always been an enemy of mankind. Sometimes you may get angry for absolutely no reason at all. And the most significant challenge lies in such a situation.
Train your mind to divert to positive things as soon as you know you’re getting angry. This shall help you to a great extent.
15. Giving is receiving
The other day one of my Tamil friends shared a pleasant experience with me. Every Thursday 9.30am to 10.30am she teaches a classroom of students, in Tamil Nadu’s remote areas, via skype call. The happiness on her face and the shine in her eyes were so soothing.
Giving just an hour of her life every week to the unfortunate children is what she’s doing, and I’m so proud of her. She says, “Seeing the pure smile on those children’s face is so satisfying.”
If you’re Tamil and wish to contribute your one hour to these underprivileged children, please contact my friend – (Click here to contact)
16. Plan a trip: It helps even if you don’t actually take one.
As I mentioned earlier, happiness lies in the process. Though your Goa trip gets canceled every year, at least you come together to plan one. The talks, the fights, the waves of laughter while you’re planning a trip is all the matters at the end.
Recently, our office trip was canceled, which was planned for the 6th of July. Everybody was sad as we’ve been planning for a long time now. But when I look back, we did have much fun in the planning process. And that’s important, you see.
17. Keep away your mobile phone
Since two weeks I was unhappy about something. Only after giving it a thought I realized I was missing my Pune family. All day long, I roamed with a long face in the office and back at home.
Sometimes, text cannot do what meeting in person can do. Somehow that wasn’t possible, so I stayed happy with the Whatsapp chats.
Yesterday, I experimented on myself. For 24 hours, I did not use my phone at all. The invention of the mobile phone was made for the mere purpose of talking to each other from anywhere and everywhere. I think made justice to the invention first time yesterday.
And believe me, I was at peace and happiness automatically crawled in.
No expectations of double ticks, then blue ticks, then a reply or likes or followers. Nothing at all. I think every once in a while you should also follow this ‘No Phone’ day. It really helps.
The two weeks of gloomy mood was washed off in a day of detoxification. I’m smiling while I type this.
18. Emotions – Yes, Emotional Drama – No
How long will you bang against a wall?
You may begin to bleed, but the wall will never open up for you.
If something is going wrong in your life, work towards the solution instead of sitting back and mourning about it.
Show your emotions in the efforts you put in to solve a problem. Complaining about the problem is emotional drama, and putting in the hard work to overcome it is called emotions.
19. Let the good make noise.
The world isn’t as bad as we think it is. It’s just that the bad makes noise.
Have you ever seen good news (except that of India winning the ODI or a politics related news)on the front page? Almost No. Because we’re so used to the bad that we can rarely accept the good. And thus the newspapers take advantage of this habit of ours to make sales.
Go out in the world and speak all the good you know of all the people. Share your day’s stories with your friends and family. Tell them how people around you are kind.
Let everyone know that you’re proud of your spouse and children (I do not mean putting up a status on Whatsapp or Facebook. I mean genuinely communicating this to your peers and relatives)
Let the good make noise and spread the word that the world we live in is actually a good place to be in.
20. Be affirmed that the end will be beautiful
Sometimes life will throw you into a cocoon to help you to come out with flying colors. You need to have faith in life and accept whatever it had to thrust upon you.
And be patient till the end is good. Because if it is not good, it is not the end. Picture abhi baki hai mere dost (I couldn’t get a better concluding sentence than this 🙂 )
I wish you luck in the process of being happy.
Let me know your views on happiness in the comment section below. Also, if you liked this blog please subscribe to my blog. Click here to subscribe and get a special gift from me.