Life surprises you in all ways possible. Today you are happy; tomorrow, you might not be. The unpredictable or even the predicted incidents bring such a hurricane in your life that you have no way to loose yourself off it.
I think marriage is that predicted event of one’s life that changes your life 360 degrees. Sometimes it changes for the good, transforming you into a beautiful person, and sometimes it may get the better of you.
Every individual has different experiences in their married life. But women have some common ones which are sad and disappointing, which they gradually realize in their newly married lives.
If you’re a woman and reading this blog, you’re surely going to agree with most of the points. If you’re a man, I think you should understand what a woman feels in the initial days of marriage and comfort her in all ways possible.
Ever since I got married, every day has been a new challenge. I’ve felt the minute changes in me and my life since the day I married. Nevertheless, nothing has changed within me, and that’s something I am proud of.
So, here are the ten most disappointing things that come in every girl’s life once she’s married off in a new home.
1. You were a princess
The emphasis on ‘were’ is justifiable. Do you remember sitting on the couch and ordering food and water? Your mother was only a scream away from fulfilling your demands. You got everything on your plate, all ready to be gulped down your throat.
You realize how well you had been treated at your Mom’s place when you now have to get up and fetch the glass of water for you and as well as your in-laws. You realize you were a queen back then when you now have to pull your eyelids from each other and wake yourself up to make breakfast for the whole family.
You might do everything wholeheartedly, but deep down, you miss your princess-like life, which you lived for around 25 to 30 years.
2. Parents love you more than your husband does
Be it an arranged marriage or love marriage, you soon realize after marriage that you’ll find nobody in this world who’ll love you more than your parents do.
It’s strange how the love multiplies when you leave their house and start living in someone else’s house for the rest of your life.
3. You have no time for your parents
It’s an undeniable truth that you’re so busy pleasing a bunch of people that you get entirely linked out from your parents in the initial days. Unwittingly, you start taking them for granted, assuming that they’ll understand your plight.
They do understand, but the truth is it’s too difficult for them to handle the suddenness of you not being around giggling and chit-chatting in the house. The unaccustomed silence haunts them, and they keep anticipating a phone call from you at least once a day.
It leaves you by surprise that you sometimes go without talking to your parents for days as you’ve left with no time and energy to make a simple call. Though eventually, you learn to tackle things in a better way, you feel guilty for having hurt your parents for months.
4. You’ve had a more secure and relaxed life before marriage
I say secured because you were comfortable in your parent’s house and didn’t have to care about the cooking. You got a beautiful plate thrice a day without having to do anything at your mother’s place.
It’s sad how your home suddenly becomes your mother’s. Though the new house is yours after all, initially, it’s a whole big struggle to settle down in the environment.
5. You’ve never done anything for your parents
A few months into the marriage, you realize that you’re doing so much for the house, your husband, and your in-laws, which is right after all. But when you look back and see that you’ve done nothing like that sort in your parent’s house, for your parents, it gives you terrifying guilt pangs.
Though the cycle will repeat itself as you become a mother and your daughter does the same to you, but the realization hits hard, leaving you sad for a long time.
6. You’ve married too soon
This is the worst feeling you’ll ever have after marriage. Though it’s a flying thought that comes to your mind, you do feel at least once that you’ve taken that step too soon.
You could have done a lot in your life that you cannot now, in your married life. But I think, if you make your mind, you can still live your dreams even if you’re married – with a lot of hard work and patience.
7. You’re a guest at your parent’s house
The happiest thing you do after marriage is, visit your parent’s house. But when you realize you’re just a guest there and have to return to your husband’s place after a short stay, you feel sad.
It’s like going to a school picnic. You’re excited about the whole trip a few days before the day. You pack things, dream about the things you’ll do there and hop a little with the mere thought of spending time with your friends and at the end of the picnic, it’s just the same old boring routine. After marriage, you go on a picnic at your parent’s place. You pack things, dream of taking some rest there, gossip about the things you’ve wanted to for the longest time and return with tears in your eyes – every damn time.
8. You’re hanging in the middle
Many times, you feel you’re alone in this big world. There are several incidents after marriage where you feel like running away but don’t know where to.
For women, it’s always either their husband’s house or parent’s house in the initial days of the marriage. It takes a considerable time to gel into the new household and accept it wholeheartedly.
The duration of time depends on how the family treats her. You know what I mean.
9. It is tough to handle two sides of the family
Your parents wait for one call from you, but you’re too busy in the initial days of the marriage that you hardly get time to make a mere call.
Juggling between your office work and in-laws, you completely forget that you have parents kilometres away who long to hear your voice.
10. Your parents have lost their charm
When you visit your parent’s home a couple of times after marriage, you realize they’ve grown older. The charm on their face is entirely lost after you leave the house.
You feel terrible about how your existence in the house had once been the reason for their smile, and now your moving out has taken away all their charm.
I’ve seen my parents had mixed feelings on my wedding day and now they seem to be lost in my absence. Maybe it’s just that they’re trying to adjust to the new routine, and that time will take care of their current situation.
As I was writing this blog, I came across this quote – Bloom, where you are planted. Sometimes the Universe gives us signs providing solutions in some way or the other.
You may be planted into a mad house, or a dysfunctional family or a family having a cultural difference; it’s your sole responsibility to bloom irrespective.
It’s how you flourish despite all the odds. You may miss your parents, but it’s you who need to find ways to keep in touch with them and not let them feel lonely. You might have married too soon, but now there’s no undo button. It would be best if you found ways to live your dream and carry all the other responsibilities of the house efficiently.
You might not have done much for your parents, and now that you’ve realized, nobody is stopping you from doing your bit for your parents. You might have been the princesses of your parents, but now you’re the queen to your king. Accept it wholeheartedly and let the new life begin!
These were a few things that I experienced in the initial days of my marriage, and I couldn’t resist sharing them with you, my dear reader. I hope you liked this blog and can relate to some of the points.
I would love to know the things which disappointed you after marriage. Do consider sharing them in the comment section below, and waiting eagerly to hear from you.
See you soon!
Take care and don’t forget to smile, no matter what!