When you got to choose between friends and family, you, me and everybody fall into a big hassle. For the apparent reason, blood is thicker than water.
Then what about the recent study from the University of Chicago that people who had close relationships with family members lived longer than those who had close ties with friends.
On the contrary, William Chopik, an assistant professor of psychology, says, “friendships become ever more important as we age.”
He adds, “keeping a few really good friends can make a difference in our health and well-being.”
Do you ever fall into this situation where you’re bound to choose between friends and family?
How difficult this is. After all, friends are our extended family, isn’t it?
Your attachment with your friends and family is the same irrespective of the years of togetherness. Then how do you make the decision – family first or friends?
I feel it’s the most tedious decision ever.
If you go with friends, the family is hurt and vice versa. But sometimes, the latter is not true. Let me tell you a story, where I had to choose between friends and family.
A friend of mine lost his father a few days ago. The loss came as a shock to him, and he almost collapsed. And how different is he supposed to react?
Two of my friends and I decided to go and meet him in Mangalore at his home. Friends play a vital role when life throws such traumatic situations.
But when the day arrived, one guy backed out due to an emergency, and I was stuck in a weird situation. And I too had to back out.
My father had to go to our native place for some work and if I also went to Mangalore, my mother would be left alone in the house.
Usually, I don’t think twice before meeting my friends when in need, but this time I don’t know what got to me. After spending so much time with her for the past 3 months(when I was at home), I did not have the courage or rather did not wish to leave her alone and go.
And I chose family over friends. You know what, after a point in life, your parents are suddenly dependent on you. It’s difficult for them to cope up without you, sometimes even for a single day.
Your parents are slowly entering into their old age and it’s your and my responsibility to be there for them whenever needed.
Though I felt good about staying back with Mom, I’m more in guilt that I couldn’t go and meet my friend in need.
This was the only weekend we had a chance to go because all the coming weekends are booked. And you know while we’re running along with the clock, the weekend is the only time we all have in our hands.
Today, as I write this blog, I remember how he had come to my rescue on a single call back in Pune(when we were in Pune). And how he had travelled all the way to Pune from Banglore for my farewell (when he was in Banglore, and I was in Pune).
He is a gem of a person. And I’ll be living by this guilt that I could not go and see him in this challenging situation in life.
And that friend of mine said, “You be with your Mom, we’ll meet some other time. Maybe I’ll come to Pune or Mumbai after 2 months.” How can one be such a great human being?
American writer Harper Lee’s, in his book “To Kill a Mockingbird,” says, “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” To add to this, “You can make friends, but you also cannot avoid your family.”
So, guys, I decided to stay back with my mother and disappoint my friend and ultimately live with the guilt. Have you ever fallen into such hassle of choosing between family and friends and felt guilty about it?
Reply to this email and share your weird situation and the guilt associated with it, it will only help you release some of it out. I make sure to reply to all your emails.